… ate, prayed, loved…

- my take of the movie of the same title (in the present tense)

Liz has seen the signs yet ignored it (started by a prophecy in Bali), in order to contain her personal struggles to influence her “supposed-to-be-happy” married life. Until one night, she admitted the fact that she didn’t want to be married to a man who loved her so much. She met a young man whom she later realized she did not love, yet stayed in the companionship because “it is more painful being apart”. She then prepared a year of sabbatical planning to re-acquire her appetite in Italy, to find “God” in India and to find her balance in Bali, Indonesia. Instead, she found friends in Rome, self-forgiveness in India and true love in Indonesia.

I watched the movie because I cannot accommodate this title on my two-book quota for this month. And because the film will be out of the movie houses soon (many good films coming), I treated myself curious what is there to eat, to pray and to love. The ever beautiful Julia Roberts connect to her character and made viewers feel hurt and frustration in her effort to go through a failed relationship. Maybe the movie (or the book) is a success because while there are lots of places to see, its underlying theme is how painful it is to let go. People can relate because one time or another, people will get hurt. Its how the Universe created love and relationship. If one had been in love without hurt or pain then that person either hit the one in a billion permutations or had tons of Ganesh idols in the altar. J

EAT. My take of this journey to Italy (where women love pasta and “sausage”) is the attachment to anything “bodily”. This can be obsession to material wealth, or the cravings of the flesh. And it is human nature to ask for MORE than what is necessary. I do not call for exemption. I work everyday for savings, saving and more savings. I want to have a condominium (that I can call my own minus the tenants unafraid of ejectment proceedings) in the city, a house on the province and hefty investments that I can use on my early retirement. I eat and limit myself to what I can spare from my savings and thus limiting activities for personal growth and enjoyment. Good thing, the movie offers alternatives --- friends and family support. I have lots of those J

PRAY. I do not have to go to incredible India to find my relationship with the deities (besides, I would rather go to Greece or the Pyramids to physically connect to my pantheon). I am a person of faith (not necessarily a man of religion) and I keep my relationship to the Divine a personal thing. I pray to adore the Divine, I give thanks to everything, I do contrition (yes, in prayers) and ASK. I think I mature more in faith than in emotions.

LOVE. I fell in love. Despite being hurt and continue hurting, I never regret experiencing it (with all incidental feelings associated). Falling in love (the first, second, third, to infinitum) continues to be a fire to a moth --- livening and lethal. A person in love is ecstatic, not exercising proper judgment and admittedly, close to insanity. But the other side of the coin is more complex. Pain associated with love comes in different package --- infidelity, falling out of the relationship, being left alone in a relationship, annulment, divorce, and many others. Coping up with a failed relationship is harder. A line in the movie said “it is painful because something within is broken”. True. But it is also the mindset. The mind is powerful to feign sickness, how much more a legitimate feeling of hurt, remorse and regret.

The movie shatters a traditional coping up mechanism. “You can think of the person, you can miss the person… then drop it off.” What happens to the rule of letting go? Can I modify? Can I think and miss the person, forgive myself, drop it off and let go completely? Easier said than done. Easier to formulate in the mind, difficult to implement in the heart. Or maybe the movie let viewers experience how to balance the physical, the ideal and the personal. Maybe until after there is balance can one let go and cross over through a boat for two with one’s true love. Maybe. Maybe not.

(sorry if there are grammatical issues)

The NAKED CHEF ( a repost)

August 10th, 2008 by jeorav

Preparing breakfast this morning, half asleep and yearning for coffee, the boiling cooking oil popped and went straight to my hand. I yelled and cursed “masakit ang mabanlian!”. Then I began delivering my lines “ano ba ang nagawa ko sa yo? Wala naman akong kasalanan! Bakit mo ako sinaktan ng ganito?”. After realizing that the frying pan will not give me a dramatic actor complement, I tossed the cooked egg into my plate and prepare my coffee.

Hindi talaga ako nilikha para magluto. It was unfortunate that I was not born with a silver (or golden) spoon pero atleast hindi ako ipinaglihi sa sandok, syense o sa higanting tinidor. Kasi kung nagkataon, hindi ako magtataka kung ipalo ako sa sangkalan o ilublob sa palayok ng nanay ko. And to think my mother is a great cook! She made her wonders through our kitchenette na nagging restaurant and was operative eleven years! Nakapagpatapos ng abugado! NAKS!!!

Then, after my muni-muni, presented below are my thoughts on why I am not into cooking:

a. Siguro, isda ako, freshwater or salt water creature ako nung past lives ko. Syempre, for obvious reasons, hindi ako makakapagluto dahil malamang, pag lumapit ako sa kawali, pinirito ang labas ko! Okay sana kung Japanese at may pagka-zen style yung kitchen, pero naisip ko rin, tatadtarin naman ako, OUCH!

b. Vegetarian monk ako nung previous karmic cycle ko, or kambing kaya? Nguya at kain lang sa paligid pag naugutom. Wala ng lutu-luto! Sabagay, ginagawa ko pa din naman. Pag umoorder ka ba sa fast food at restaurant, kailangan ba, ikaw magluto?

c. Mahilig ako sa anything instant, pati sa food! Basta may hot water or can opener, buhay ako. Actually, siguro pina-practice na ako ng subconscious ko kasi feeling ko, pupunta ako sa New York at magiging ganito ang buhay-pagkain ko. Yun eh kung makakapasa sa Immigration Officer! Dadalhan ko na lang sya ng Chicharon— hindi ko niluto yun!

d. Hindi ako talaga mahilig kumain. Pero kung akala nyo ay saying para sa akin ang kasabihang “a way to a man’s heart is through his tummy”, may remedyo! Pwede SEX na lang? (Ang programanag ito ay Rated PG, patnubay ng Net Nanny at Cyber Patrol ang kailangan).

Syettt!!! Umaga na naman. Magpiprito na naman ako ng itlog, ham at bacon. Teka, Bakit ako may sugat sa kamay? San ko kaya nakuha ito? HHHmmmmm.

DILEMMA ... a repost

August 8th, 2008 by jeorav
“to be or not to be, that is the
question!” – William Shakespeare

Almost everyday, the Universe poses options with different objectives — to measure our limits and/or
strengths, to present a lesson worth learning and to exercise judgment by weighing circumstances and considerations. When we see options in form of challenges, we step back and assess before moving to take it. When both options are favorable, we call it “JACKPOT”! Otherwise, we call it “bakit nasuot ako sa kaguluhang ito”. When after considerations the options pose intricate and web-weaving effects, we
call it dilemma.

Is dilemma spelled with double L or with a letter N? Chicken or beef? Will I opt to be excellent in academics or extra-curricular activities? I like to be a doctor but I like to be a lawyer. Will it be a condo or a car that I will spend five years for monthly amortization? Dun ba ako sa sexy or dun sa smart looking? Will it be the one who loves you but you fell not loving, or the one you love pero “so-so” lang ang effect ng ganda mo?

Minsan iniisip ko na sana may slot machine na pwede mong hulugan ng coins at may sasagot na sa dilemma mo. Magandang isipin but it cannot happen everytime. The US cannot be at peace with Iraq while bombing its citizens. China cannot (well not yet) protect itself and its culture (and its stand to certain issues) on the other hand and have a free trade with the world. Taxi drivers cannot have the benefit of lowering oil prices and start their meters at Php60.00.

Whether it be options both worth trying or a double-edged sword, dilemmas are part of growth, of experience and of living. We may not be King Solomon when dealing with them, but wisdom is the language of the soul. If pumalpak ka sa options mo, atleast there is a soul na pwede mong sisihin! Ang dilemma nga lang, sasakalin mo ba ang soul mo para mawala na sa existence, o papatawarin mo at haharap ka na naman sa panibagong dilemma?

To the Graveyard!!! And out!

July 30th, 2008 by jeorav

“Sleep, sleep slumber deep,

I close my eyes with dreams to keep!” (my sleep-inducing spell)

This entry is to acknowledge creations working at schedules intended to rejuvenate the body through the process commonly known as sleep. They are the ones attending to matters, issues or work supposed to be by counterparts on the other hemisphere. They are the ones defying distance or more or less twelve-hour difference to deliver services. KUDOS to the graveyard shifters!!!

I was recently “assigned” (I promise not to use the word “drag” because whether I like it or not, however small the participation, my consent plays a part) to a special project requiring to report for work from late afternoon to hours past midnight. My initial reaction was “ayos, parang inilagay nila ako sa shift na gusting gusto ng katawan ko. Sobra naman yata nila akong mahal”. So I thought. During our first briefing, the bomb landed when the hours required was, get this, 11pm to 8am. I, the eternal believer of pushing one’s self to the limits, felt okay the first night as it covers (although with a three-hour extension) my normal sleep cycle. Two days of this shift, I caught colds.

I had fever the next days. I told myself (again!) “Nothing a good and uninterrupted sleep and rest can handle”. WRONG!!! The streets on our part of Makati City were drilled (like my head swarming on headache and other pains imaginable to man) — scheduled two hours after my slumber. My body is tired, so tired! My fever recurs and signs of anemia presents itself — excessive hairloss (those darn shampoo supposed to be to lock hair strands to your scalp don’t work) and spots (pasa). I was on leave on the third day and three days thereafter is hell.

Maybe lack of sleep creates realizations. I learn to appreciate (which was there all along) the value of God’s gift to man — sleep. The gift I deprived myself all these years and instead availed of DVD marathon, late night reading, television, internet and other crafts. I appreciate how a sleep cycle (3 to 4 hours depending on physiological make-up and balance) can refresh the skin, the mind, the spirit. I have to admit, after a week of “irregular” shift, I appreciate slumber deep and what doing nothing while snoring can do. I appreciate people who are used to working during these hours — fighting sleep, stress while providing good, “world class” services.

I may have two months more in this cycle. If by vitamins, exercise and emotional boost (plus Night Shift Differential), I survived this ordeal, I partake to the acknowledgment to that very reason this entry was written for.

REPOSTING: awkward

April 8th, 2008 by jeorav

"Feelings, nothing more than feelings, trying to forget my feelings…" Feelings by Gemini with version of Albert Morris

One of the first words i have learned in the lessons of synonyms-antonyms-homonymns is the word "awkward". But being a fourth grader with limited access to websters words and application, I am fond of using these new words whenever opportunity permits. For instance, I often use the word “awkward” to mean “ugly” . I will say “ you’,re awkward” or “you’re bike is awkward”. Imagine using a word so complicated to accommodate a simple state of taste or appreciation.

I have come across this word many times. As to where and when I have changed definition to how I perceive it today, I really cannot remember. At least I know it improved. The word I used to describe the antonym of “beautiful”, “pretty”, “good-looking” transcends from simple everyday language to a more restrictive and better-explained creation of language.

What is awkward? Let us give some examples (Naks, parang Professor!)

Awkward is when you are called to recite the facts and ruling of a case when you have no idea that the case was assigned for reading. You will stand to accept defeat of flying 5s in your classcard and engulfed with shame and repentance. What is awkward is that the professor continues to “grill” and ‘squeeze” facts or bits of it waiting until you can answer a question as bizarre as the aurora borealis in the form of legal practical application. Forty minutes standing answering nothing is awkward but imagine how awkward classmates will feel asking you “hindi mo ba alam na assigned yun?”.

Awkward is when a religious delivered a lecture about morality and pre-marital sex and later realized that the audience is composed of workers of red-light districts or those employed in the flesh trade. Who knows if being red or blushing with uneasiness is the first sign of being awkward? For sure before the end of the lecture most of the audience already left (or hooked up with someone during the talk) and no questions, clarifications or honoraria will be given.

Awkward is when after practicing a million times the question and answer of a direct (or worse, cross examination), your witness will tell the judge or the Honorable Court, “hindi naman po talaga ganun yung nangyari, sinabi lang po ni attorney na ito yung sabihin ko” and the judge looked at the lawyer with those questioning eyes. The next minutes will definitely be awkward, or maybe every case in that court room with the same judge. If I were that advocate, I can see withdrawal from the counsel, not because of the substance and merits but because I felt awkward.

Awkward is when during family dinner of a girl introducing the fiancé to the relatives, one relative claimed and confirmed “eh macho dancer yan eh! Kitang kita ko yan nangongostomer nga yan dun sa gaybar sa Timog”. Whoever’s word between the fiancé or the male relative will be believed in by the clan is of no importance. For sure one of them (or both, lets be practical) will feel awkward.

For sure, everyday there are moments when we feel awkward, because of people, events, and circumstances thrown at us by the wheel of fate. I guess feeling awkward is a trick of the soul or connivance of souls to test our patience, cool or wit on how to move on after the feeling ceases. I guess being awkward reminds us of being human, subjected to the extraordinary dealings of everyday life. I guess feeling awkward means the stepping to the boundary of confidence and shadows of doubt. I guess.

I feel my mind wandering now and discussing things not related already. I feel the need to end this blog… feeling awkward.

SNAKES and LADDERS

January 10th, 2008 by jeorav

"Kung Mang-aahas ka, galingan mo!" - Rossana Roces’ confrontational piece urging her daughter to lure a husband of another (MAging Sino Ka Man)

I am not fond of snakes. I dont fear them, yet i think they are gross. Their scales are hard and dry, and they feel like overacting callus rubbing your skin. Maybe the writers of the bible felt the same way when they describe ultimate and ancient evil as the serpent in the gardens of Eve. Snakes. Eww. Gross.

Qualities of serpents are also equated to the negative. MAybe, for reasons stated above, they are condemned from the beginning. Perhaps they are created to balance the existence of a meek lamb, or a unicorn. Pero kawawa talaga sila. Inaapi. Kinakawawa to the lowest level. Can we blame them? What if their purpose in this plane is to be the kontrabida? Atleast naranansan na nila gumapang sa lupa at kumain ng palaka ng walang lunukan. Eww. Gross.

But may worse pa pala. Ahas na nagreincarnate sa ugali ng tao. Nangaahas at nagpapaahas. Minsan yung inaaahas kawawa pero may enjoyment factor pa yun ng konti. Hmmm Siguro yung mga ahas-ahas na yan nakadepende din sa alignment of the stars and conjuration of the planets. Halimbawa, pag yung house of venus sa aquarian age sumabay sa first octave ng house of mars, malamang serpent galore. Okay, mahirap intindihin ang serpentine explanation of astrology, so ilagay natin sa common and practical application. Television for instance:

Inahas daw ng kabilang channel yung main star ng isang channel, at ito namang kabilang channel, nagpaahas na daw ng isang talent na galing din sa nilipatang channel. Inahas ni Angelica PAnganiban si John Lloyd kay Bea at kasalukuyang inaahas ni Rosanna si Christopher de Leon sa asawa nito sa soap na MAging Sino Ka Man. Sa PAtayin sa Sindak si Barbara, inahas ni Kris Aquino (at nagtagumpay sya dito) ni Albert Martinez kay Jodi Sta. Maria, kaya nga namatay at nagmumulto ito. Sa Marimar, inahas ni Renato kay Sergio si Angelika na inaahas naman ngayon si Sergio kay Marimar. Sa Zaido, may kalaban silang halimaw na ahas.at yung story plot ng kamandag… errr do i have to point out the obvious?

Puro ahas! Hagdan naman nga!

The corporate world is a peculiar environment. Movements of employees are common and exodus of workers are phenomenon without effort. Napagalitan ka boss mo, lipat. Pinagselosan ka ng anak ng tita ng asawa ng boss mo, lipat. Hindi ka pinagbigyan sa leave, lipat. In fact, common sa workplace yung makalipat ka ng ilang beses isang taon. Sa call center at business process outsourcing, common na yung lipatan at palitan ng employees. One stint of work is a stepping stone (paraphrased: ladder) towards individual fulfillment professionally.

Corporate ladders are just there. If you are rank-and-file, you will begin at a low level step. Then you have to do your best (or find connections or sleep with your boss if quality of work and performance do not suffice) to move upwards. There is such a thing called promotion! The higher you go, the broader the responsibility. The fatter your paycheck the greater the responsibility (or forced work depending on one’s appreciation). But the ladder remains.

I can cite people from different areas of expertise or field of work with humble beginnings and presently handling power and authority. They stepped higher and higher with sweat and blood and mestrual cramps inclusive of the appointment, promotion or confirmation of a higher responsibility. But what will happen to the ladder when one reached the highest step? NOTHING. The ladder remains, but the person on the ladder must go down. When there is no step available, you can etiher cling to the highest, but eventually step down.

Participating in the professional world is a peculiar experiance. It is a jungle out there, with ladders in between. Be careful of snakes, be careful of ladders. This year, ang sabi nga "Kung Mangaahas ka, galingan mo!" Who knows, it might open a step higher.

Priori Incantatem… a Tribute

August 17th, 2007 by jeorav

"Something wicked this way comes…" (A song from the Movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

As usual, I am late again. Late to post my tribute to the boy from Privett Drive. Last month, JK Rowling ended the saga by concluding the seventh installment. She did well (she became a billionaire in a matter of ten years and beyond and iam wondering how she and her family will spend the money) in terms of letting me feel sad yet relieved at the flip of the last page.

I was introduced to the boy with round glasses in between my readings of anne rice’s mayfair witches. I needed to focus on a lighter story after the chronology of Julien and Rowan Mayfair. A friend (with braces and a chinese boyfriend that time) told me of a boy studying witchcraft and wizardry. Wow! I am into research and practice of the craft and that ignited further curiosity on a certain harry. I hurriedly went to my favorite bookstore (National Bookstore Avenida — a bookstore with a big collection and few readers) to purchase. I got hold of a soft-bound but soon finished the first chapter before going to the counter. I decided to go for the hard bound and i saw the second book. Would two books hurt? on my allowance perhaps.

After four days, i went through Hogwarts and Diagon Alley. I finished the second book after two sleepless nights. This author is good! While she might be good in prose, i am able to imagine what a boy that age in awe with all the magical things around him. I was able to relate, but i was enjoying more! The twist at the end will always be the least guess one would imagine, the chapters would intertwine at the end. Books after books, curse after curse (Snape wears Prada!), and thousands of pesos after another, the story is finally on its last leg.

The movie last month is special. I was with the same friends (the girl with braces was still there minus her chinese) i have while i was starting with the first book. To make the experience on the next level, we watched it at I-Max (Mall of Asia). When they say the biggest screen in asia, they really mean it. With colored 3D goggles, plastic bags of popcorn and endless picture taking on the side, four hundred pesos is surely worth it! The movie ended promising to be better.

A week after, the last book was released. Again, i went to my favorite bookstore and as if the book on top of the pile has my name on it. Twenty minutes after, i was on a bus reading the first chapter. Twenty hours later, i smiled and put the book with the other volumes. I am sad because the story that was a universal favorite was put to finish, yet relieved because i was not disappointed on its closing.

After reading the book and before taking a sleep which was hours overdue, i thought i am somehow lucky. I took a minute and ponder, what does these books offer that made them so "special"? Was it its prose and its execution? Was it substantial subject matter? Was it magical imagination?

Harry POtter is a good thing that happened during my lifetime. Others might see him as a wizard, a bully, an outcast, a hero — i see him as me. He is a person who acknowledges the fact that he cannot beat the enemy by himself. He needs luck. He needs courage. He needs friends.

Cheers to you my imaginary wizard! If there is one spell i would cast to remember the boy who lived, my cheer would be: "PRIORI INCANTATEM!"

Court Circumcision

August 17th, 2007 by jeorav

Yeah yeah, i know this blog was expected two years ago, at the beginning of a professional practice. Well, any rule warrants an exception right?

Weeks ago, i was challenged by a case that requires my presence in a courtroom. Honestly, i opted to "delay" litigation practice as a personal preference. Many opportunities come and many tempting offers go, and two years passed with the same notion and well, excuse. But as if Lady Justice has her way of calling me to "partake" courtroom action. No thanks to family friends (and their legal controversy) that i woke up early that morning for a case calling to "preserve" a marriage. Many excuses swirled my mind. I can call upon the flame of fever, the sting of asthma or my favorite, rumbling tummy. Paraphrased? Butterfly in my stomach. Further paraphrased? I am nervous.

Who wouldnt?

I first appeared before an Honorable Judge years ago upon application of my notarial commission. As expected, i called Your Honor "Sir"— an indictaion that i just graduated from a classroom setting. A green horn, I manage to pull courage somewhere to complete the judicial "interrogation".

But this time its different.

I have in my hands a legal action in form of an answer on a petition to dissolve a marriage. After the last pleading was filed, it is now pre-trial time. It poses a difficult task (yeah i know others would not bat an eyelash to do this) for many reasons. One, this is my first appearance. When i say first, i say first time to be speaking in front of a judge with my "own case" (i still cant believe i signed to be the counsel of record! argh!). Second, the client will be there to watch my "appearance". To tell you the truth, it would not help. Labor cases are easy because you can appear without your client.

Third. I am a proponent for being single.

Here comes a case preserving a marriage. Here comes a case protecting the unity. Here is a case taking away an opportunity to be single. Now i know why it is so difficult. The fact is, i am in a way intertwined with the implications of this case.

Proposed solution: Be an advocate for justice and set aside personal considerations.

Proposed plan of action: Wear a poker face, pa-cute sa court and prepare myself to the litigation road ahead.

At the time of the pre-trial, i was surprised to be in front of a strict yet considerable Judge. She knew i (with my collaborating counsel) am new to litigation, but she helped me go through it.
When the first case was called, i am wearing a smile and attentive to what the court personnel has to say. When our case was called, I (as expected) garbled my words and is close not not introduce my appearance properly. But wit and the attitude of never-chicken-out saved me from embarrassment. I gave my client what she deserve that day.

We re-schedule the pre-trial. Hehe

REPOSTING MY BLOG: "...i do"

May 25th, 2007 by jeorav

"till i found you… looking through the eyes of love" — a wedding song

i find it annoying when people attending weddings during the conversations before the food is served will ask you questions when you plan to marry. annoying because they seemed to subconsciously (a) pressure you to follow and invite them afterwards and (b) curtail your right to singlehood.

attending weddings should be fun. imagine seeing two people swear before the divine that they will be one from the day forth till the end of their lives (or the other’s). fun because you will see different emotions surrounding the ceremony itself. the mother crying (applicable to both wife and groom), the father proud, the bridesmaid conscious (because her gown didnt fit her well after not dieting from the day she was measured), the groomsmen sleepy and drunk (after last night’s stag party) and the uzi’s excited to know if the influential and the famous will attend (later to be disappointed because what they see are all proxies).

then the reception. cakes, wine, doves and countless kisses by the newly weds everytime the audience requested. and you are so drawn to their happiness only to get shattered by:

"hijo/hija, hindi ba mas bata pa sa yo si (name of ikinasal), bakit ikaw hindi pa nagaasawa?"

doink! you will realize that you are now caught in an embarassing situation. if you are witty enough, you can just tell them "errr, hindi po ba pumunta tayo dito to celebrate the wedding of (couple’s name). mukha pong hindi kasama sa program yung pakikialam nyo sa buhay ng may buhay". smile then proceed to the table of your "co-singles". Or just let them be (as we will always do). alam naman natin na its not worth it to argue with someone na nagpunta sa wedding na nagregalo ng stand fan (na free lang pag bumili ka ng orocan or napanalunan sa roleta sa perya).

imagine going to the wedding prepared and excited (you even prepared a dress wearing a prada tag marked P180 sa malapit na uk shop) and leave the party irritated and insecure. no wonder kumokonti yung mga guest sa kasalan. sayang naghanda pa naman sila ng mga food na minsan mo lang natikman — menudo (argh!), chopsuey, pancit at leche flan. dagdagan pa ng all time favorites na ube at buco pandan. sana lang ikaw yung nakakuha ng flower bouquet, pero dahil sa conscious kang hindi makakapaguwi ng bilao na pinabalot sa makulay na palara at yung giveaway na "angel" (syet, pandagdag mo na naman sa collection mo) hindi mo sinalo. ayun, naunahan ka tuloy nung abay na napagkamalan mong ninang dahil sa itsura! hehehe

but the point there is, people expect singles to come to their house and give them invitations for another wedding.

hopefully, ikaw na yung susunod. pero kung ikaw man, atleast you know that someone in the crowd that youve invited felt annoyed and irritated. at kilala mo na yung culprit. kung sino yung nagbigay ng stand fan. goodluck sa kanya!

so, who will invite me to another "i do" ceremony? sukob kaya? abangan!

The PRINCE

May 25th, 2007 by jeorav

"someday my prince will come…" (snow white and the seven dwarves)

many a times i come to cross lives with single women— some professionals, others intellectual, and even beautiful ladies. Well, not to mention those who seemed to enjoy the single blessedness without the above-mentioned adjectives. But after long conversations and curious prying with the privacy of their "lovelives" (others, none at all) there seemed to be a common hypothesis. "The right man will come at the right time, at the right place".

okay. reality check. we were made to believe that there is a person somewhere that holds the other half of well, "us". that is why the song "got to believe in magic" triumphantly claims "tell me how to people find each other in a world thats full of strangers" and concludes "its magic when two people fall in love". well, it may be true or not. but dont you think its unfair for the other half of those monks and priests who opted to be living alone (theoretically, not practically)?

next point (wow, parang debate). why will you wait for someone without you doing your own searching? hindi kaya mapagod kakahanap yung iniintay mo and end up marrying or being with someone na unang kumupkop sa kanya nung nahilo na sya sa pagod kakahanap sa yo? that is why i admire ladies who are open in saying "naghahanap ako ng boyfriend" (or mapapangasawa in the provincial parlance) and doing her best to the realization of what she is searching for.

imagine if you are working at the 48th floor (ok, insert floor number higher than 20) of a tower at Makati City waiting for your prince. everyday you waited that he will enter the office and then cupid will do his stuff. after years and years of waiting, no prince arrived. you will now be discouraged to the point that you will not trust love anymore (oa? i dont think so). many women believed that their princes will come one day, or the next, or the next. it will be easier though if you have the hair of rapunzel, for the prince to see and say "let down your hair". but historically, no hair have grown that long. and even if for argument’s sake it happened, you can never tell if the person riding your hair is your prince "charming".

and so it continues. better shatter your love perspective. "there is no factory of princes charming". your prince may be hidden beneath a frog, a shrek, the beast. the point is, he is not a prince. better leave that title behind with your fairy tales and barbi dolls. now, you will see that your other half might not be galant, not charming, not brave and noble (lady es would surely not omit the following — handsome, tall in every inch of HIS body and if he has money, the better). what is important is that you take down your standards and see what the universe has instore for you.

in making love charms and potions, i always tell others, do not wish for love when you are not prepared. a prince (or anyone) who will come seek a person prepared to enter and be "whole" in a relationship. a good-looking partner (you wish) is not good enough. preparing mentally, emotionally and spiritually is essential. do not be selfish! do you think the Ultimate Force will give you someone when you will just screw everything up because you are not prepared?

finally. do not wait for prince charming to come. instead of "sour graping" over your friend’s boytoy, or ranting with your poor "love journal" (eh papano kung wala kang love life, eh di journal na lang?), GO OUT AND FIND HIM! the holy book said "seek and ye shall find". the authors are under divine inspiration while writing these verses right? im sure papa jisas will not like them lying, hehehe.

who knows, he may be the standing next to you. then you should not wait anymore.

REPOSTING OLD BLOG: EULOGY for PLUTO

September 19th, 2006 by jeorav

“Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are”

I can still remember reciting the planets on the solar system way back the fourth grade. As early as that, I had the astronomy as a favorite pastime. I look at encyclopedias for these planets and the sun and supernovas and black holes. I can recite the planets from according to distance (proximity from the sun) to size (biggest to smallest and vice versa) and the constellations to which they are included.

But the concept of night sky changed.

When we look at the night skies, Pluto is still there. Not as a planet but a dwarf — dwarf 134430. Pluto is confined to numerical value after years of considering it as the farthest, smallest and coldest planet in the Milky Way. Such drastic move that lead to protests and campaigns to restore the former glory of a faraway planet.

Well, people can be the planet Pluto. Many a times individuals are stripped of their value based on circumstance not their fault. They are being judged (me not exempted) by claimed “authority” to be something or nothing. People, like Pluto, will just have to accept these judgments amidst emotional protest and start moving on with their lives. They will hide the pains and sorrows for this “realignment” or worse, “de-recognition” just to have an acceptable course of destiny.

But what if this is not what the universe wanted? What if we were made to believe it is okay to treat Pluto that way but in fact, is NOT?

If Pluto was reduced to an ATM pin-like description, and new dwarfs were pronounced (thanks to asteroid ERIS for these disagreements), is it not effect limiting the Divine’s handwork a mere temporary canvass? The universe works wonders — it holds in its hands countless planets of incomprehensible nature and significance. It made no two planets, stars, nor asteroid the same. Yet it holds its little stars (and planets inclusive) delicately under the laws of universal creation. It holds dearly every little creation in the night sky.

If I were Pluto, I would at the meantime accept what these “persons as authorities” had made me. But I will wait for the time when I cross Uranus’ orbit (kick him on the butt? No!) and swap places and do this until the time I reached Earth’s (I know it is not scientifically probable but if Pluto can be made a number, then can the Divine not do anything?). Then I will pose myself as an asteroid ready to destroy the living planet. Pluto, like any person deserves to retaliate and invoke the karmic law — the universal law.

Blackmail ey? A good one I assume.

To planet Pluto, till you are back to your former glory!!!

REPOSTING OLD BLOG: kakabakaba ka ba?

July 29th, 2006 by jeorav

kakabakaba ka ba?

note: contains graphic expression of sexual encounters

the existence of "other" beings not visible to ordinary eyes is just normal to me. suddden movements on the corner of one’s eyes is in fact a natural occurrence. ok, i admit, i see ghosts in diffrent manifestations. your reactions are nada importa. if you are a believer, then read on. if not, just do me a favor and treat this one as fictional (or go ahead and read the next blog).

i lived alone before in a condominium unit.

i took a break and slept nearly 4am after my routinary review for a national examinations two years ago.

sleeping alone on a queen size bed, i have all the space for myself. i have four pillows and a fluffy comforter to accompany me every night. sarap matulog, imagine after hours of reading and understanding theoretical discussions, you will sleep and rest your mind alone, all alone.

yun yung akala ko.

one particular morning, nakatagilid ako facing one side of the bed. suddenly, nagising ako kasi may bumubulong. i thought its a dream pero i have my hair at my nape standing. kilabot ko sa buong katawan. naramdaman ko kasi may tumabi sa akin (i was reminded by this story by a friend who recently experienced the same thing in bangkok).

syempre ndi ako dumilat, pero alam ko and with another sense nakikita ko na meron akong katabi na nakatingin sa akin. alam ko nakatingin sya but i know he has no eyeballs. he is whisphering something which i cannot understand or is it with fear that i find the words incomprehensible. after a while, he was gone.

sana dadagdagan ko ng sex story ito eh, kaso i decided to cut this short eh kasi while typing this story, alam ko may nanunuod at nakikibasa sa likod ko. the same shiver is present, the same hollow eyes reading line by line, and i can feel the air from a sewn mouth whisphering words again. ayoko tumingin sa likod, baka kasi kung ano yung makita ko.

kayo kaya, meron din? hindi ba may kilabot din kayo nararamdaman?

sige na… tingin na sa likod

nyt!

REVISITING OLD BLOG: Not a virgin anymore

July 16th, 2006 by jeorav

well, i have in mind ingredients to make it an interesting one — sex, drugs and violence. But because i was raised nearly as a priest (lol, my father will laugh when he reads this) i will set these aside except for exceptional circumstances and graphic description.

but what makes a blog a "good blog"?

will i discuss the way i see funny things in people? nah, i have yet to receive my mr.congeniality award (pending that i will behave, or at least try to). will i spill thoughts from observing people? duh! refer to the previous reason.

hmmm what makes a blog a "good blog"?

when the discussion lead me to my negative comments with the present or future political condition (imperyalismo ibagsak!), would that be interesting? nah, people may opt to watch news or commentaries. when the discussion tackles the church and the rival religions that can be seen 24 hours claiming the other is misinterpreting the verses of the catholic holy book, would that be worth the reading? the answer is obvious, i just wanted to affirm my curiosity.

so, when is a blog a "good blog"?

a blog would result to a review if i share my insights about a movie, or a book, or a play or a favorite restaurant. it would be an advice column if i pry into another’s privacy (well, i enjoy it and others wouldnt suspect) and lead them to realization (or the light perhaps?. it would cost you consultation fee if it comes to matters of my profession (i have one!)

And the witchhunters will burn me on a stake if i will be magickal or "new-agey".

Who determines a blog as a "good blog"?

definitely not english majors! they find it enjoyable to see to it that what you have written conforms to the S-LV-O or its variation. not philosophers because they will tell you it doesnt fit the realm of the philosophical. not theologians because topics and discussions may send you to hell or 50 years in purgatory (better prepare those indulegencia plenaria!). Not scientists because they don't have time reading mushiness or rants when they have to discover something for the further advancement of science.

how to start a blog as "good blog"?

hmmm, this is quite difficult. its easier to say that one’s blog is not a good blog than to say a blog is a good one. Maybe it has something to do with sentence construction? high-faluting words and figurative speeches? or it has something to do with topics that appeal to everyone? Hmm difficult indeed.

but hey! i created my first blog!!! after years of attempting, after going over notes and thoughtless insights (journals, pieces of papers, parchment from a magickal book), i finally created my first blog! and the good news, it has nothing to do with what i originally planned to write about.

so, is my blog a "good blog"?

honestly, i dont care. ;) i have my blog now. notice the word "MY" (emphasis supplied). but the great thing there is, i am a personification of Divine Providence. I love to share what has given to me or what i intellectually create (is this covered by intellectual property law?)

the rule is, you can look, but you can not touch

(thanks to the goddess for the inspiration.)

blessed be!

ELEVEN THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BAGUIO (2010)

We recently had a trip to the north visiting the son of our friend. After spending hours of food and talk, we decided to go to baguio as a two-hour extension trip. Being the "go with the flow" type of people, my friends were soon on a bus going to the Summer Capital. We were out of the city 20 hours later. While on the bus, i ponder (while watching "This is It") why the City of Pines create wonders by inviting people again and again. These are my ten reasons:

1. The weather. When its cold, its freezing cold (experienced this while attending mass). When its hot its cool :)

2. TRIP. The scenery of trees, houses and skies are worth the 5 to 6-hour (from manila) or less than two hours (from manaoag) trip.

3. DIVERSIFIED population as its finest! This can be both advantageous and otherwise. International businesses are booming. The rush hours can be annoying though.

4. VIEW of the MINES. One of the most popular destination in the city, the fifteen minute taxi-drive from Session Road offers not just pictures and sceneries. Now the "photo-with-the-pink-haired-horse" and the St. Bernards are also effective stopover and marketing strategy.

5. CONVENT of SWEETS. The Good Shepherd Convent offers not just food for the soul but sweets to the appetite. People flock and queued to order sweets and other Baguio's signature "pasalubongs". I hope they have been blessed.

6. CAMP JOHN HAY. The former campsite is now a luxurious golf course and offers posh accomodations. They have good breakfast too! House of Waffles (beside Starbucks) HUGE breakfast is Yum yum!!!

7. STREETS. Session Road offers everything! The street is the center of everything Baguio-ish. It offers food, bars, commercial establishments. Convenient, really!

8. FAITH and MASS. If not for the time constraints, i could have gone to the Grotto to offer some Marian prayers. But the Cathedral with Mass is just around the corner (or just atop the hundred plus stairs) and faith can really be established and practiced there.

9. TAXI CABS. Well, they have different presentations and forms but they are of cheaper fares--- P25 flagdown and P1.50 thereafter. If you wonder why they have no airconditioning units, refer to reason number 1.

10. HONESTY of PEOPLE. A frind of mine lost her wallet with all her credit and ATM cards plus amount of money she just withdrew. The person who rode the cab saw the taxi, call the hotel where we were picked up by the same taxi and meet with my friend there. Kind-hearted. Bless you!

11.CONTINUOUS INVITATION. Baguio is not just a summer destination. it transcends from the "destination" to a place of Promise --- promises of fun, new places and lots of surprises.

I will be back soon or sooner :)